and I'll always be waiting in the backroom.
I have so many expectations for my life. It's killing me. I go into situations daydreaming about how things might turn out.
Never once has a daydream be accuate.
I was so excited for my junior prom. I thought that for once I would actually feel beautiful. I hoped my crush (I can't even remember who) or any guy would come over, tell me I look amazing, and ask me to dance.
It's laugh worthy now.
I enjoyed being with my girls. Dancing was fun. But some people got too close and others not close enough.
At one point I was terrified of a friend.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't gone. I was grounded, but my parents made an exception for prom. It's supposed to be the best night of your life.
There's always next year, I suppose.
I'm so looking forward to college. To get far away from people who've hurt me, away from feeling like a failure when I'm in the same room as my parents.
I'm trying so hard really.
Know one gets that.
I was told I look like Yale, but I feel like a community college.
It's like, why set a bar too high?
Why try so hard for something you're not going to get anyway?
Why bother living with nothing to live for.